Aging solo

The practicalities and possibilities of embracing the future on your own.

Marriage. Home. Children. The boxes that once defined the passage into adulthood are increasingly going unticked.

Marriage rates, which peaked at 78.8% in 1949, sat at just over 47% in 2024, according to the US Census Bureau – and they haven’t been above 50% since 2010.

A recent New York Times article explored the rise in renting among households earning $1 million+, which tripled between 2019 and 2023. The increase was informed by the pandemic and economic factors, but also driven by high-earning Millennials, whose share of the rental market increased by 60%.

And Pew Research Center found that a growing number – 47% – of American adults under 50 say they are unlikely to ever have children.

It all adds up to a substantial cultural shift, but what does it mean for the other big milestones we mark with time? Retirement. Legacy. Aging.

“There is a growing population of what we call ‘solo agers,’” says Emily Treasure, Senior Manager of Longevity Planning, who focuses on helping financial advisors and their clients navigate longevity planning at Raymond James.

Traditionally, this population has been solitary more by circumstance than by choice, navigating aging in the wake of loss or a divorce. But increasingly, their ranks are being joined by people who see aging alone for its possibility. And based on the skyrocketing number of gray divorcees – which has doubled since the 1990s, also according to Pew – a growing share of the “traditional” cohort seem to be embracing the freedom a solo future can offer.

Whether you’re approaching solo aging as a destination or a contingency, planning is the critical piece, says Emily. “It’s important to start early and to plan in ways you might not expect – not just having higher cash reserves and key legal documents, but also cultivating hobbies and building community.”

Aging on your own and on your own terms, she says, is ain the details.

Alone again (intentionally)

Solo aging is not a new phenomenon, but planning for it financially, physically, geographically and socially is a modern invention. Even if it’s something you’d prefer to avoid, taking the time to be intentional, to explore what would make that lifestyle work for you, could help deter future stress and, potentially, expand your ideas of what’s possible.   

The independence and flexibility of aging alone generates options – from launching a second-act career to relocating to a new city or country, or deep-diving into niche interests – but it also invites additional layers of practical considerations.

It’s not just asking yourself “When will I retire?” but “How will I maintain social connections once I’m not plugging into a work community every day?” It’s not simply “What can I do to support my health?” but “Who will be around to help me through a health crisis?” And it’s more than ‘What are my wishes?”; it’s “Who will ensure they’re carried out?”

Who will answer the call?

Knowing who will help, from meal prep to medical directives, is the biggest concern for a lot of solo agers, Emily says.

“Financial advisors and other professionals like attorneys are in good positions to help identify the right resource – an aging life care manager, a professional fiduciary, a trusted friend – or, in some cases, to be that resource themselves.”

Who will help me if I fall?

If a close friend or nearby relative isn’t an option in an emergency, solo agers can tap medical alert services, outfit their homes with assistive technology, or invest in wearables – from smart watches to smart jewelry – that track vitals and offer automatic fall alerts.

Who will support me through a health crisis?

In the absence of an informal caregiving network of family, creating a formal one is key. Concierge medical services can provide enhanced care for acute and chronic illness, while medical management platforms offer advisory and advocacy, arranging travel and coordinating in-home support. Solo agers should also keep long-term care in mind and have a plan for how it will be funded and who they’ll legally empower to make decisions.

What if I get hit by a bus?

Like anybody else, solo agers need an estate plan, but unlike others the role of executor won’t fall naturally to traditional candidates like a partner or child. A trusted friend or neighbor could be an option, but it’s worth exploring hiring a professional trustee or executor to handle the nuances – and, as always, to document your wishes early and often.

Who will I talk to?

A number of studies have found that social engagement and social activity are among the biggest determinants of brain health as we age. So, getting and staying connected through things like church groups, community organizations and members clubs can be more than a cure for idleness – it can actually enhance longevity.

Solo, not solitary

In her work, Emily cautions against seeing independence as the end-all.

“People who are aging solo often assume independence is always going to equal empowerment, and it might today. But I don’t know if they’re prepared for how quickly isolation can set in. You can have a financial plan, you can have a housing plan, but if you don’t plan for how you’re actually going to live day to day, it can be a really big surprise.”

She recommends that people consider complementing their autonomy with a deeper investment in things they are already passionate about – faith, community or volunteerism, for example.

Those with a passion for hands-on giving can use volunteer match portals to search for local opportunities. And world travelers might explore swapping their next solo trip for an activity-, arts- or learning-based group tour with a private travel club.

Patronage can also provide connection beyond a gala or gallery visit. Patrons’ circles at museums and arts venues often include a host of fringe social benefits in addition to tickets. For example, the perks of an annual donation to New York’s Metropolitan Museum can extend from lounge access and bespoke events to day trips and learning series.

Ultimately there is an irony in planning to age alone, because the goal is to ensure that you aren’t. You will need people around you and a plan they can follow to help you mark the milestones that will define your life on your terms.

Sources: Usafacts.org, NYtimes.com, Rentcafe.com, PewResearch.org, PewResearch.org, Pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov